Kiss Me, Kari
by Izzy and Mimi
Summary: A parody of The Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare. Has it been done before? :::shrugs::: Izzy and Mimi have to write a school report, and it starts to get pretty interesting...
1.

**Taming Of The Tai**  
or  
** Kiss Me, Kari**

_ (a parody of _Taming Of The Shrew_ by William Shakespeare)_

Prologue

"Okay, class," the teacher Ms. Yamahana said, as she passed out papers to the 7th grade class in Odaiba Middle School one day. "What I'm handing out to you are your end of the year assignments for English. Since we have just finished reading the play _The Taming Of The Shrew by William Shakespeare_, I have based each assignment around the piece. I have taken into consideration everyone's special abilities, talents, and hobbies that I have observed throughout the year, and gave you an assignment that would allow you to use that talent, whether it be writing, art, or...computers."

When she said the word "computers," Ms. Yamahana looked in the direction of 13 year old Koushiro "Izzy" Izumi, who had his fingers crossed for the past five minutes, hoping that the teacher would give him something to do that involved computers, like a multimedia report. Ms. Yamahana knew how involved Izzy was with computers, and he was really aiming for an assignment that would let him use his vast knowledge with ease.

But, when Ms. Yamahana dropped Izzy's sheet onto his desk, his eyes widened in shock. Instead of seeing the words "Multimedia Report" on the top of the assignment sheet, it read, in clear, bold letters:

** You will write a modern version of  
"The Taming Of The Shrew" by William Shakespeare,  
along with...**

Izzy grew nauseous and nearly threw up when he saw the name of his would-be writing partner.

** ...Mimi Tachikawa.**

"Ms. Yamahana!" Izzy cried out, jumping up from his desk. Almost simultaneously, a pink-haired head shot up from across the classroom, equally shocked at her own assignment. 13 year old Mimi Tachikawa's eyes darted across the room, and met Izzy's. They both, at that moment, knew that they were in big trouble.

Without any permission from the teacher, both Izzy and Mimi rushed up to her desk, where Ms. Yamahana had just sat down after delivering all of the assignments to the class. They reached the desk at the same time, identical frantic expressions on their faces. "Ms. Yamahana," Izzy protested. "You can't possibly expect us to do this!"

"No one else is working together on this project!" Mimi interjected, just as panicked over this very difficult assignment as Izzy was. "Why have you paired us together?"

"And the assignment," Izzy added, showing the teacher the paper, "How you do expect two thirteen year olds to modernize a brilliant play written by the greatest author in history?! I was hoping on a project that involved computers..."

"And I was looking forward to a fashion overview of sixteenth century clothing!" Mimi cried.

Ms. Yamahana sighed, and looked the two teenagers in the eyes. "I think the both of you are underestimating your abilities," she said. She turned to Izzy. "Mr. Izumi, what I've seen this year, is that you hide behind your computer skills. You write your essays and your English papers so well, but you drag them down with fancy technical tricks."

"And Miss Tachikawa," the teacher said, turning to Mimi, "Ever since you moved back here from New York, I've seen you have such potential to be a great writer, yet you never think past expensive makeup and pretty clothes.

"I gave both of you this project because I think you can actually pull it off, if you try. You can make this assignment into an interesting learning experience that will help you mold your creative abilities."

Both Izzy and Mimi opened their mouths to protest, but Ms. Yamahana cut them off. "As for working together," she said, in a more serious tone, "I don't want to hear that you can't, or won't, do it. I now that you two were part of the eight kids that saved the world three years ago...you were called...the DigiDestined, am I right? Izzy and Mimi nodded slowly, disbelieving that their teacher knew they were DigiDestined the entire school year, and hadn't said a word about it until now. "So I don't want to hear that you two can't be partners in a little English project if you can save the world together."

"But Ms. Yamahana," Izzy asked, taking a look in Mimi's worried direction. "Just how are we going to modernize _Taming Of The Shrew_? We wouldn't know where to begin!"

"Why don't you start with something familiar?" the teacher suggested. "Set it right here, in modern-day Odaiba, perhaps. Or, you can use your friends as characters, as just a suggestion."

Both Mimi and Izzy's eyes widened, and the idea popped into their heads at the same time. "Friends as the characters," Mimi said slyly, naughty ideas of putting her friends into the plots of Shakespeare already popping into her head. "I think we can pull that off."


	2. Act I, Scene I

**Kiss Me, Kari**

If you have the actual play handy, you can read along!

**Cast of Characters:**

Tai Kamiya - Katherine Minola (the "shrew")  
** Kari Kamiya - **Bianca Minola (the younger daughter)**  
Ken Ichiouji** - Gremio (a suitor to Bianca)  
** T.K. Takaishi **- Hortensio (a suitor to Bianca)**  
Davis Motomiya **- Lucentio (a suitor to Bianca)  
** Cody Hida** - Tranio (Lucentio's servant)**  
Matt Ishida **- Petruchio  
** Joe Kido** - Grumio (Pretruchio's friend)****

Act I, Scene I__

Ken, T.K., Davis, and Cody are in the computer room of Odaiba Elementary School to study after school. They witness an argument between Tai and Kari, in which it is announced that Kari cannot date until the elder and bad-tempered Tai does. Kari's potential boyfriends, Ken and T.K., decide to search for a girlfriend - or boyfriend - for Tai. Meanwhile, Davis hatches yet another hair-brained scheme to woo Kari, and decides to disguise himself as a computer tutor so he can secretly flirt with Kari.

  


** Davis:** I'm so bored! There's nothing to do here! I thought there would be snacks...

** Ken: **We told you, Davis, we were doing research today on the developments in the Digiworld, and we weren't going to come to school on a Saturday just to play around.

** Davis: **But I thought we were going to eat, and I gave Demiveemon my breakfast!

** Cody:**_ Mi_ perdonato, gentle master mine.  
I am in all affected as yourself,  
Glad that you thus continue your resolve  
To suck the sweets of sweet philosophy.

** Davis:** WHAT did you say???

** T.K.: **I think Cody's hungry, too. Maybe we should get some pizza, or something.

** Ken:** Maybe you're right. Let's go.

** Cody:** Master! Some show to welcome us to town!

** T.K.: **Cody's right! Someone's coming! Quick, close the computer program!

** Ken:** Hide!

** Davis:** How can you two UNDERSTAND that kid???

_ [T.K., Ken, Davis, and Cody hide in the room while Tai and Kari enter.]_

** Kari:** This isn't fair, Tai!

** Tai: **It wasn't my fault.

** Kari: **This isn't fair, and you know it! Why do I have to be punished because you can't find a girl?

** Tai: **First of all, you shouldn't be blaming me for what Mom and Dad decided. You heard Dad: "I firmly am resolved, you know, that is, not to bestow my youngest daughter..."

** Kari: **...before you start dating; yeah, I know.

** Tai: **Secondly...what makes you think I'm looking for a girlfriend?

** Kari: **Tai!!! A boy? Mom and Dad would never approve!

** Tai: **And that's why I'm not dating.

** Ken (hiding): **Well, this has turned out to be quite a revealing encounter.

** T.K. (hiding): **I think we're learning a lot today.

** Davis (hiding):** And a lot more I didn't ever want to know!

** Kari: **But that doesn't help me any. You still have to date, boy or girl, or I'm never going to be able to date the guy I really like!

** T.K. (hiding): **Kari likes someone?

** Davis (hiding):** Do you think it could be one of us?

** Ken (hiding): **I sure hope so!

** Tai: **That, dear sister, is your problem. Not mine.

** Kari: **That is so unfair!

_ [Kari and Tai exit. Ken, T.K., Davis, and Cody reveal themselves.]_

** T.K.: **Wow! So that's Tai's deal. I would've never guessed he liked guys!

** Ken: **And because he won't date girls, that's why Kari can't date guys...namely, one of us.

** T.K.: **So what are we going to do about it? We have to do something.

** Davis: **GUYS!! Can't we talk about this after we have something to eat? _[T.K. and Ken ignore Davis.]_

** Ken: **Well, we know that Tai won't go out with any girls; he only likes boys.

** T.K.: **And his parents won't accept him dating a boy, se even is he does get a boyfriend, his parents will won't let Kari date one of us.

** Davis: **Hey guys, I love Kari just about as much as the next guy, but right now, I'm loving the idea of chowing down on some pizzas much more.

** Cody: **I pray, sir, tell me, is it possible  
That love should of a sudden take hold?

** Davis: **Would you QUIT talking like that?

** Ken: **I got an idea! WWe need a guy that Tai will like...

** T.K.: **That will tolerate Tai.

** Ken: **...and who can pass for a girl, so that his parents will think he's Tai's girlfriend!

** T.K.: **And then Kari will be able to date!

** Davis: **I don't really like this idea. Where are we going to find a guy who'll go along with this?

** T.K.: **Oh, I got just the boy we're looking for...

** Davis: **Well, I still don't buy it. I don't know about you guys, but I'm out of this.

** Ken: **Suit yourself. But we're going to go set our plan in motion.

_ [Ken and T.K. exit.]_

** Davis: **Hey, bring back some pizza! _[Davis sighs, and turns his attentions to Cody.] _ That sounds like that stupidest scheme to win Kari that I've ever heard! But, I have an even better scheme to make Kari fall in love with me!

** Cody: **I pray, awake, sir! If you love the maid,  
Bend thoughts and wits to achieve her.

** Davis: **I said, stop talking like that! Anyway, here's my plan: since Kari isn't allowed to date me, I will become her computer tutor, I'll overwhelm her with my wonderful Davis charm, and then she will fall in love with me! Isn't that a great plan?

** Cody: **But sirrah, not for my sake, but your master's, I advise  
You use your manners discreetly in all kind of companies.

** Davis:** Huh?

_

[Cody rolls his eyes.]

_

** Davis: **Either way, I am off! Come on, Cody! If I'm going to win Kari's heart by being her computer tutor, I'm gonna have to learn a few things about computers!

_ [Davis and Cody exit]  
** [END SCENE]**_


End file.
